Mr. Haberny doesn't get his

i don't have much to say bout this post, more just to share and say that this guy might be taking things a little too far. granted, giving people shit is very gratifying and self-serving, but sometimes you need to know when to call it quits.

i only know about Cash4Gold.com from tv commercials and i know that they want you to send them your gold and they'll pay you for it. this guy painted rocks gold and sent them in... three times. is that as creative as he could get, sending painted rocks in and trying to pass them off as gold? i mean, if this stunt had any sustenance to it, it would be laughable - but it's not just the superficial stunt that takes the cake. this one has layers - like an onion (melissa....).

Mr. Haberny claims he found his "gold" on a soul searching pilgrimage to Tibet with a quadriplegic hooker he picked up in Singapore. how interesting is that??? attention officially grabbed. i'm no fucking idiot who believes this - it's the fact that he puts this much thought into a bogus story for sending in painted rocks, passing them off for gold. to boot, he requested a cool, round number of $1,423,061.92 for his rocks. nice move.

if that's not enough, he sends a petition for a "greaseless, backdoor, Hammertime lovemaking session" with two of the female telemarketers for the company, a move which they cite in the letter as being "feral and preposterous." up to this point, i almost want to stand up and applaud this guy's valiant efforts and then he crosses the line.

his request to have Ed McMahon host his birthday party at McDonald's goes to far. i agree with Cash4Gold on this one - it's a bit disrespectful to Ed and certainly isn't going to help his cause in any way. actually, it's very detrimental because it seems like his assholish efforts have gone astray to nincompoopery. everything up to this point - the hooker, crazy demands, Hammertime lovemaking sessions - has kept me captivated but that's like making a joke about Jerry's kids... the book is open but you don't necessarily have to read from it.

either way, kudos to you, Mr. Haberny, for giving 'em the business and at least trying to stick it to the man. unfortunately for you, you seem to have taken your shenanigans a bit too far - far enough in fact to excite a signed letter from a certain Jeff Aronson, whose time you truly wasted in three failed attempts to get yours; but Mr. Haberney, this is gold - and we're in America. America doesn't fuck around with gold and, apparently, neither does Cash4Gold. so go ahead and send 'em another letter. why the hell not?